Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Love, Marilyn

I can honestly say that I have always been a bandwagon fan of Marilyn Monroe. I have a good friend that loves her, so when HBO advertised that they were showing a documentary about her I decided to watch it as well.  There is a lot more to this woman than people realized, than I realized. She was a deep, passionate, very dedicated to becoming a good actress, and very .... lonely. It's so sad to see a woman who wanted so much to be a good actress and to be loved and taken seriously, to only feel alone and not even truly loved by a man that she loved so much. As I listened to her words, it made me think how brave it was for her to put it all out there, even though it was only for her personal reflection and perhaps a sense of release. I hold back... even with myself. I am afraid to put myself out there in anyway at all, and I envy that she was able to do that. She was unapologetic about who she was and things that she did that caused a stir. How can you not admire a person for owning who they were? And she OWNED it! 

The documentary is shot with current actors/actresses, authors and other people who knew her or had input on her life either reading her journals or her poetry or revisiting events in her life. Hearing her words are so powerful and gut wrenching. Having these actresses say her words out loud, it makes you really feel her emotions. The words really make you feel the emotion along with her... it's almost like you become her. Marisa Tomei is one of the actresses who is reading Marilyn's letters and she does a GREAT job of emulating the tone of the letters with her actions and her voice, her delivery. Jennifer Ehle, who looks like Meryl Streep to me, also did an awesome job of bringing her words to life. Glenn Close, Evan Rachel Wood, Elizabeth Banks, Uma Thurman and Viola Davis also lent their voices and talents to Marilyn's writings. Marilyn was an inspiration for so many of our current actresses and paved the ways for many of today's celebrities. Lady Gaga and Madonna are among those who have tried to replicate her sex appeal. (Hello.. Madonna Material Girl?!?!?)

It's so tragic how these movie stars long to be accepted and loved and how they end up feeling so lonely when they are surrounded by so many people. But the sad truth is that they don't know who they can trust. And while there are times I envy their pocketbooks, I do not envy their relationships. How can you tell when you have genuine and authentic people in your lives when you are in the spotlight? It seems that all Marilyn wanted was to be a wonderful actress, to be loved and to be accepted, even though she couldn't accept herself. The more the movie went on, the more sadness you could see in her eyes as her words filled the screen. Even through the screen I almost got a sense of the loneliness she felt. 

While the movie was playing in the background, I was googling her name and quotes. I also took to Amazon to see about the books that were referenced in the movie. I have become more interested in historical fiction after reading Hemingway's Girl by Erika Robuck. It was just a good story and the fact that it centered around an actual person made it all the more interesting. I would like to say that I will read a book or two maybe, if I am being extremely optimistic, about Marilyn Monroe. I am considering My Week with Marilyn, which is also a movie, to start with and go from there. 

It's absolutely crazy to think that she was only 3 years older than me when she died. What could she have become? How could her legacy have changed? Would she have been able to fulfill her dream and become the great actress that she wanted, and so desperately tried, to be? What would have happened had she gotten the help she truly needed, and deserved? Would she have had children? 

Sadly these are all questions that will have to go unanswered and we will forever be haunted by her unfinished legacy. After watching this movie I can definitely say that I am an admirer. She was quite a woman. 

Are there any Hollywood icons you admire? 

Thursday, June 6, 2013

It's Officially O F F I C I A L....

I am now a GREAT aunt! Ms. Kendall Shae made her appearance Tuesday, 6/4/13 at 4:34 am weighing 7 lbs and 18" long! 

(daddy, grandma and baby - 3 generations)

It is truly one of the most surreal things in the world that my NEPHEW is a father! But he is super excited about it, which is great! 

Mama decided to go to a birthing center instead of the hospital and had the baby the au'natural way. Bless her heart! No drugs!!  Oh and she went home the same day... a mere 2-3 hours after delivery! For you mama's out there that had the hospital births I am sure that sounds crazy. And since she delivered the baby in like a tub of water, the baby didn't need to be cleaned off. Oh and did I mention she was in labor, active like pushing, for 2 hours! From what I understand that is not a long period of time. 


This is my favorite picture of the night! I love the pure joy and love that is on my mother's face. I don't think its too common that people get the privilege of being GREAT grandparents. Sadly, my father isn't here to enjoy that privilege, but I can't help but think he would have loved this little girl SO much, and I know that my mother is going to love this baby to the moon and back! And maybe even more than that, if it is possible. 

(daddy, grandma, great grandma and baby - 4 generations)

(ME and my great niece!!!!)

Last one I promise.... 

Babies bring such joy!!!! I can't wait to watch her grow!!! 


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Why Disney?? WHY????

I can never fully understand why theme park admission prices have to increase every year. Especially the ones (*cough cough DISNEY cough cough*) that are internationally known and VERY well um, attended. I get that they are making changes and adding more to the parks to make it more enjoyable for patrons/customers, but it's getting harder and harder in this economy for people to truly enjoy the parks. I don't think that this is what Walt Disney would have wanted. I think he wanted families to be able to come and enjoy the parks and to do so frequently, and well that isn't always the case now. 

But even as I sit here and say that, I KNOW, as we all do, that even this price hike will not stop people from going to the parks. I do not understand how large families or foreigners do it. How can they afford it all?  I do not have children yet and I find it expensive to go to the parks. I can't even imagine what my grandchildren will have to pay to get in. When will it ever become enough? 

Don't get my wrong, I understand that they need to make money, however, it's not like it's some small rinky dink place that no one goes to. This is a HUGE company with multiple theme parks, a cruise line, resorts, the DVC, and many many other things, why in the hell must the admission price go up?!?!? 

There will be people out there saying that we should boycott Disney and other theme parks that have recently raised prices (Universal Studios),and that will teach the parks a lesson, but do you know how many people would have to do that??? (honestly I had that thought myself, ME a DISNEY FAN!!) There would have to be thousands upon thousands of people to boycott the parks, and while that is all well and good to SAY, people will not do it! Which is why they feel they can raise their prices, and get away with it. They know that people will still come no matter what. People will figure out a way to make it happen.

And really I am just venting my frustrations, because let's face it, nothing compares to driving under that sign and knowing you are on Disney property. NOTHING!!!! 

Monday, June 3, 2013

Brain Dump re: House Hunting

Trying to find a house in our price range and meet the criteria we would like is proving difficult. Or rather, let me rephrase that... trying to find a house in the current city we live in now is proving difficult. I am finding plenty of houses that are 30-45 minutes away. And while there is some appeal to moving to a new, up and coming place, its so far away from my family, friends, my job and what I know. 

The houses in the city we live in are smaller and have less amenities than the houses 30-45 minutes away. You are getting so much more for your house for your money by moving away. When you do a side by side comparison it should be a no brainer, but then the heart weighs in and things get blurry and confusing. I start thinking, would my family and friends travel that far to come and visit? Would I visit on the weekends? Would it create distance between us and our friends? What about gas mileage? 

What things do you consider before moving a considerable distance away? I feel like these are things that are holding be back and then I start to over-analyze everything. I think to myself is it worth moving that far away if we have to travel back to our current city every day for work? It makes more practical sense to just find something in the area right? Of course! And then I think to myself what is the point of even having a house there if we are here all the time, why not live here? And it goes on and on... and ON!!!! 

I think Firefighter and I were seriously looking at a place about 45 minutes away and then my father passed away and well that changed everything. I could not bring myself to move that far from my family at that time. And now that it has been almost 3 years it is still too hard. UGH! And the fact that house prices are on the rise is making me want to get our little buts in motion and do this like.... NOW!!! 

But like with anything else I seem to want, there are strings. Getting a loan isn't as easy as it used to be. They want you to be employed with the same profession for more than 6 months. And of course now, Firefighter has only been at this gem of a new job since March 1. My job is going well and I have been there over a year now and I have a promotion in line. But is that enough? I have more research to do!! 

OH and then there is this USDA program that we probably COULD qualify for, but you have to find a house east of the interstate. And most of those houses are too expensive and out of our price range or they are 30 minutes away. I KNOW that I will never get it handed to me and that it is going to be hard work, but it would just LOVE for something to give, for something to make it a little easier. I am not even asking for money to buy the house, just something to make it more accessible instead of it feeling like it's never going to happen. 

I have much more to say about the idea of moving away but I will save that for another day.