Tuesday, November 20, 2012

This Just Happened....

That is a graduation cap and a tassel. 

That's right, I am graduating. 

I am getting my AA in December. And for some reason I feel the need to diminish this accomplishment. I don't see the gravity of the situation. Granted it is not a bachelor's or a masters, but it is still an accomplishment. There are plenty of people out there who have not and may never achieve this milestone. 

I think part of the reason I am so nonchalant about it is because it took me so long, I graduated from high school in 1998. I have plenty of friends that have surpassed this achievement by now and here I am only now marking this off my to do list. I know that a large part of my feels that I should have been done with this by now. I get so frustrated with myself for not being more focused earlier on. I can't change anything about that now, so I just need to accept it for what it is and realize that I am closing a chapter of sorts. It's important. 

And now part of me is like, what the hell am I supposed to do next?? I have been going to school here and there over that last 15 years and it was always kind of there and now, I don't have this to fall back on. I still want to go to school, I do enjoy learning. And now that I am doing a job that I really enjoy, I wouldn't mind taking classes in that field. 

The ceremony is right around the corner. I was given 3 tickets for guests. And my frist thought was Firefighter, mom and dad. But dad isn't here. I am sad that he isn't here to see me walk. I know he will be with me that day, but it's not the same. Ironically he was able to attend one of Firefighter's graduation ceremonies. And I am so grateful for that!! But I wish he would be here. It's just one of the handful of things that he will not be here to see. 

I am proud of myself. I know that it is an accomplishment, but still it doesn't really feel real. It will feel more real the closer it gets. The ceremony is December 14th, one day after my 33rd birthday. Talk about a good birthday gift. 

1 comment:

  1. Congrats! Don't downplay your accomplishment. I should talk; I do it all the time! But really, be proud. School is hard work and you finished. Next you can go for your BA if you like to keep taking classes. It doesn't matter how long it takes you either; just do it if that's what you want.