Friday, April 20, 2012

The (Dreaded) Return to Work

I got a job! Yippee skippy! Confetti and balloons all around!!


And to be completely, 100% honest... 

I am not 100% excited! I am excited though. It's in a medical office and that is what I wanted, so that is something to be happy and excited about. Oh and I like the hours: 7:30 - 4:30! I will be able to come home and cook dinner, on the nights that Firefighter is home, and feel like I have time and not like I am rushing in the evenings! Plus I am able to finish up school too! 

I can only imagine how much I am going to miss sleeping in and having that sense of freedom that only comes from knowing that I am off, while other people are working. It's such a gratifying and devilishly happy feeling. 

I am going to miss the feeling like I am on a vacation, because there were days when it felt like that. And in reality it was only a vacation. I was always going to go back to work. I really have no choice. But at least this time, I feel like I had a little more control over the situation. 

I have seriously enjoyed my time off. And I had such high hopes. Hopes that I would read all or most of the unread books on my book shelf (that was a bit over ambitious as I have at least 10 or more books that are untouched), hopes that I would get my bedroom completely organized, hopes that I would get our bills and other documents more organized and hopes that I would get out more and take more pictures and get more practice. Sadly, the couch called and I answered, EVERY DAY!  I think part of my couch-potato behavior had to do with at least 2 things: a.) I didn't want to spend money and it seemed that whenever I left the house, I would spend money, so how else would I control that? Don't leave the house!; b.) I was a teensy bit depressed. I mean I was FIRED! And for NO good reason, and I keep searching for one. I can't wrap my head around the fact that there I did nothing wrong. If I did nothing wrong, why was I fired? Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be out of there, but in the same breath, I wanted it to be on my own terms. I can't change the past, but I will embrace the future. 

I planned so many things that I wanted to do, in my head of course and like any good procrastinator, none of them came to fruition. And now I am suffering the consequences. I have to cram the important things I want to do into 10 days! AND I have homework to finish. My final is the 30th. (p.s. i can not wait for that class to be over)

One of the things that I am going to miss the MOST is that, "Oh I don't have to work on Monday" feeling. I know that the realization that I have to get up and go to work on Monday won't come with the same dread that it has in the past, because I hated my job, but still it will come with small, crumb sized servings of dread. 

But it's time to get back out into the world. I was becoming far too lazy. I have memorized TV show schedules.... *hangs head in shame*. Not a good sign people, not a good sign. 

SO... I start on April 30th and now I have to get my act together, take off my procrastinator's hat, and get the projects I really wanted to get done, done. Oy vey, why do I do this to myself! 

Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the MOST important part of the new job..............S C R U B S!!!!! *Happy Dance*


Saturday, April 14, 2012

50 Questions that Free Your Mind (11-20)

Let's pick up where we left off:

11. You are having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
A.) I would inquire to assure that it was in the fact the same person and then explain that she is my friend and that I would appreciate them not speaking about her in that way in my presence. 

12. If you could offer a newborn child one piece of advice, what would it be?
A.) I would tell them to be fearless and to never let fear get the better of them. 

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? 
A.) Sadly, my first thought was, it depends on what it is that they have done. If they have been on a downward spiral and if their punishment is something that would help them get back on the right track., I would let the chips fall where they may. 

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
A.) nope :(

15. What's something you know you do differently than most people?
A.) Ummmm this is a good question that I do not know how to answer. 

16. How come the things that make you happy, don't make everyone happy?
A.) To me this answer is simple, people like different things, and why people like certain things, I have no clue. We are all built differently. 

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What's holding you back?
A.) I would really like to take a creative writing class and a photography class. The only thing I think that is holding me back is my fear. My fear of putting myself out there and not being taken seriously. 

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
A.) I need to let go of the fact that I didn't go to college. I need to accept the fact that I am not a scholarly person. I don't have the patience or attention span for it anymore. I need to accept the fact that I may have to go to a  vocational school and be okay with that. There is no shame in going to a technical school. 

19. If you had to move to a state/country besides the one you currently live in, which would it be and why?
A.) I'd move to Pennsylvania. I have family there that I would love to spend time with and to get to know better. I also would choose Italy. I am Italian and would love to be emersed in the culture. 

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you believe it will move faster?
A.) This depends on whether or not I am in a hurry and I am feeling impatient. If I am impatient than I will press it more than once. But I realize that by pressing it more, it won't make the elevator go any faster. 

Next up 21-30!!! 

First Interview

It's been 2 months since I was let go from my job. 

I haven't been on any interviews during that time. I have looked for jobs and applied for some, but not with enthusiasm. 

It's been difficult for me to look at a job posting and think to myself that I could actually do what they are asking for. I would look at the job description and the first thing I would do is look at the list and find something I couldn't do and move on. 

I'd dismiss it and then the doubt and questioning would surface and I would close up and push it aside. All I can think when I do look at jobs is, "is that something I did wrong that caused me to get fired?" 

I need to get over that. 

It's clear that I was let go for no real reason and that I didn't really do anything wrong to deserve to be let go.

But I finally ventured out and went on an interview Tuesday. 

It wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be. I was freaked out all day yesterday and prepping myself for the dreaded strengths/weaknesses questions. The questions that I did receive were more scenario type questions and how I would handle the situation. The interviewer was impressed with my answers for the most part.

But they had an interview Thursday so they told me that I would hear something Friday or Monday. Well Friday, came and went and I heard nothing, so now we are waiting for Monday.

I will update when I know more!