Yep, I was fired yesterday. And it happened first thing in the morning. They didn't work me all day. For my benefit or theirs? Who knows....
The reason given you ask? Lack of loyalty, along with multiple other things that were never brought to my attention. AT NO TIME WHATSOEVER was I approached about anything I was doing wrong.
I was there over 4 years and worked on weekends, stayed late and did whatever was asked of me.... real lack of loyalty if you ask me.
But... you know what?
Part of me is relieved. I was NOT happy there anymore. I felt inadequate and like I didn't know what I was doing or understand everything. It wasn't a good fit for me.
But .... another part of me is upset that this happened on her terms. I wanted to quit and leave her hanging, but now, she had the final say so i am just going to have to accept that. I wasn't even allowed to get things off my computer. I did delete some things earlier this week, because I had a feeling something was up, but I didn't get some other things I that wanted. And it was my stupidity for not moving the documents earlier.
I have filed for unemployment and I am hoping that there are no issues with that.
And to make it an even more interesting day.... the associate attorney in the office, and one of my bestest friends, was asked to leave when she got in as well. She called me an about 10:15am or so and told me how it went down for her.
And the BEST part? My boss didn't have the BALLS to fire me herself so she has the other legal assistant in the office do it for me and the associate attorney. An attorney who isn't confrontational... kind of an oxymoron right?
And I was watched as I packed up my things... and reminded of things to grab. It felt like they couldn't get rid of me fast enough.
So now what?
Well my mind is going in SOOOO many different directions. I could focus on school full time, I could focus more on here and getting this more established and getting myself out there, I could take a program at a vocational school and get a part time job. I will have more time to read the shelf of books I have that have been marked "to be read". I will be able to get the house more in order.
Firefighter is supportive and consoling in the way he knows how to be, we crack jokes. And I have a pretty decent sense of humor and considering that I wasn't happy there completely to begin with makes it easier to laugh. BUT Firefighter believes that I should just get a job, like it's that easy. But I am not in a place right now where I can get another job where I am going to be miserable. I can't just get a job to have a job, ya know? He may be able to do that, but not me. I want to be a little more particular about it this time, but in the same breath I know I need to get a job. But I don't want to get sucked into another situation like the one I just got out of. I would like to go somewhere and do something that I feel more confident about.
Then...when my mind gets going, I start thinking about bills, and food and well, I get knots, and have the urge to just hurl. But it's a fleeting sensation at the moment. I have some money in savings, so that is good, and I am hoping that I don't have to dip into it too much, but it may become a necessity. I will need to start cutting coupons for the things that I can use them for. I don't buy a lot of processed foods, so I am not sure what coupons I can use. I buy store brands for mostly everything I can right now, so that's already not going to be a problem. Firefighter is working decent hours right now and getting overtime almost on a weekly basis and he does still have some small income from the movie theatre, so every little bit helps.
I am glad, at this moment, that we don't have children or a house. I can't imagine this happening if we did. I don't think that we would have been financially sound enough to handle it if we did.
What happens next? How do you get a job when you have been fired? How do you get people to trust you and take a chance on you when that is on your resume? I am not a good ass-kisser or smoke up the ass blower and I am not a very good tooter of my own horn. This is something I am not sure how to deal with.
BUT... this is going to be a good thing. It was a blessing in disguise. Good things will happen. They are right around the corner!