Yesterday I had a moment when I whole heartedly missed my father's voice. I can hear what I remember it to sound like in my head and it's so clear it makes me think he is still here. But I know he isn't. I could feel the tears welling up and since I was at work, I couldn't let them free flow. It really sucks that most of the times I think about him are times when it's inconvenient to cry... at work, out to dinner or at parties. There never seems to be a time when I think of him I am either not alone or even just with family. And oddly enough when I am with my mother and she is talking to me about her memories and her grief and she starts to cry it doesn't prompt me to cry. What is that?
I need to cry. I need to get it out and I just can't.