Tuesday, August 2, 2011

obsessively preoccupied

so to say that i am a little preoccupied with the idea of getting this house, would in fact, be an understatement. at times it's all that i think about. 

it consumes me,my every thought at times. 

i dream about it. 

i envision getting furniture, getting appliances, having dinner parties and just being able to entertain (something i long to do for my family). 

i am not proud of it, but it's the truth. 

i want that house. it's a great layout and i can see us living there. i can see it clearly. of course i have had other visions that haven't come to fruition, but nonetheless that doesn't mean that i stop believing does it? no. 

some days i let myself go and i allow my imagination to run wild and other days i have reality check moments where i have to subconsciously smack myself and be like, "hey you... yea you... it may not happen so you need to take a chill pill". (Yes that is how i talk to myself). I don't like letting myself get too far gone, because , then in my mind it becomes a reality and if it doesn't become an actual reality, i will be heartbroken. and that would be no bueno. 

ho hum.... i wish this were an easier process. but why would we want to do anything the easy way? what fun would that be. 

(P.s. As i write this i am currently at home dealing with a leaking hot water heater. i have notified my "landlord' and have been advised to "call someone". um... i did call someone, i called MY LANDLORD. and it's instances like these that slap me with a stinging taste of reality. if i owned this house, this would be my problem, not theirs. am i ready for that? oh boy!)

1 comment:

  1. Girl, I feel for you. When we were first moving into our home, the thoughts of how to decorate my home and all the things that were going to happen here, made me lose a lot of sleep. I was just too excited and anxious over it. Today, I can sleep at night haha. BUT I still can't wait to decorate my home. We've been here for 9months and it's still half empty.