so to say that i am a little preoccupied with the idea of getting this house, would in fact, be an understatement. at times it's all that i think about.
it consumes me,my every thought at times.
i dream about it.
i envision getting furniture, getting appliances, having dinner parties and just being able to entertain (something i long to do for my family).
i am not proud of it, but it's the truth.
i want that house. it's a great layout and i can see us living there. i can see it clearly. of course i have had other visions that haven't come to fruition, but nonetheless that doesn't mean that i stop believing does it? no.
some days i let myself go and i allow my imagination to run wild and other days i have reality check moments where i have to subconsciously smack myself and be like, "hey you... yea you... it may not happen so you need to take a chill pill". (Yes that is how i talk to myself). I don't like letting myself get too far gone, because , then in my mind it becomes a reality and if it doesn't become an actual reality, i will be heartbroken. and that would be no bueno.
ho hum.... i wish this were an easier process. but why would we want to do anything the easy way? what fun would that be.
(P.s. As i write this i am currently at home dealing with a leaking hot water heater. i have notified my "landlord' and have been advised to "call someone". um... i did call someone, i called MY LANDLORD. and it's instances like these that slap me with a stinging taste of reality. if i owned this house, this would be my problem, not theirs. am i ready for that? oh boy!)