Tuesday, April 19, 2011

New Frienemy: Food

Oh boy am I in trouble.

All I want to do anymore is stuff my face. Not just munch here and there, I want to seriously gorge myself. Not good when you are trying to lose weight. Since October I have gained 11 pounds. Not tragic, but I don't feel like i am making any headway to get back to where i was before October. I am glad that the amount gained is not a higher number but i am not happy that it went up either way.  a gain is a gain. i am sticking with medifast currently, but I am considering switching to weight watchers. it's basically a cost thing. medifast, while incredibly fantastic, is getting expensive... weight watchers puts the control back in my hands, which to be quite honest terrifies me. medifast is so easy so thoughtless... if i do it myself i am so afraid that i am going to get back to where i was and no one wants that. especially me!

I am also equally terrified that the weight gain is directly related to my thyroid, which we now have under control. i still feel hungry a lot and i am not quite sure why. i mean i drink a lot of water on a daily basis so I don't think it's from dehydration... but who knows. i know when i go to the gym i don't push myself has hard as i should... i am kind of a wuss in that regard. i can't afford a trainer right now and i have no one that will kick my butt. i am not a 100% lazy person. if i was, i would never make it to the gym. i am lacking motivation at the moment i believe.  one would think getting back into my smaller clothes would be enough motivation, but at the moment it isn't. i just don't care most days. i could say it's because of October, but i hate blaming that for my weight gain. i realize that is being a little hard on myself. i still am dealing with a huge loss... and it would be crazy not to realize that part of the weight gain is emotional eating. but i feel like that is an easy way out... to cast the blame on something else. i didn't really change much, but i think i became a little more relaxed with my will power and there in lies the problem... i need to re-evaluate and refocus myself and my energies. but how?!?? Oy....

Say it with me... CARBS ARE THE ENEMY!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. Carbs sure are the enemy....but oh how I love them. Hope you get back on track.