Tuesday, August 31, 2010

on the brain

I have lots on my mind so I am going to attempt to cover them all at once: 
  • I want a house. I have made no secret of this. But am I so desperate to get out of where we live now that I will settle for any house?? Then I think about OWNING a house and I tend to get a panic attack, or at least a panicked feeling. Are we ready? Do we have enough money? Can I take care this house? What happens if something breaks? And the fact that most of the houses that I can afford are 30 mins south of EVERYTHING I know scares me. Is the job worth the drive in the traffic EVERY DAY?? Do I really want to be that far from my family? From my friends? This is consuming my thoughts all day everyday. 
  • My dad lost his right leg in July 2008. Not from diabetes, but from multiple infections. His left leg had a total knee replacement multiple times and was subjected to the same infections. The doctors have really tried to save the leg, but it looks like he is going to have to lose that leg as well. Deep down I think everyone in the family saw it coming. While no sane person wants to lose a limb, I think my father is a bit relieved. He won't be in any more pain. He hasn't been feeling up to going out and about with mom. He hasn't even been asking her to take him for a ride. That right there is a huge indication that he is in a lot of pain. This is affecting the whole family. My mother is having a hard time imagining that he will look like after the surgery and what physical limitations he will now face. It's a trying time. But my father has a great sense of humor. He is already referring to himself as Double Stump and referring to his stumps as his guns! LOL! You have to laugh.... if he has accepted it, then we need to. Selfishly, though, I have always dreamed that he would walk me down the aisle. And I know that there are prosthetics, so I am hopeful that things will work in our favor for once and he will be able to escort my down the aisle.
  • Firefighter hasn't officially started volunteering yet. It's quite a process to get to the actual volunteering. He has been poked and prodded and determined to be healthy so he is good to go now. And of course he thinks he is just King Shit... whatever! He explained to me that there are three tiers of volunteers: Those who do a bare minimum, something in the middle , and then there are those who do the maximum which is what he plans on doing. As long as it doesn't affect his work and we can still pay rent then we are cool. He is excited and I wish he could get started already. There are so many things that we have on hold waiting and waiting for him to get a schedule. I need a vacation and we are waiting for him to figure out when we can go. On top of volunteering he is going to have to take "classes" to learn our counties rules and procedures, etc. That is going to be a three day a week event.
  • I need a vacation DESPERATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully sometime in October Firefighter and I will be able to get to Epcot for the Food and Wine Festival. Should be a lot of fun!!! And then maybe we could hit up Disney at night time for the Fireworks. Ho hum.... here's to dreaming! 
  • Should be getting some money from my car accident last December. I need to call the attorney's office again and see what they have to say. Not looking at much, maybe $3k... MAYBE!!!!
  • Oh and Firefighter is bowling again. So on top of volunteering and working he will be bowling in TWO leagues...Monday nights and Thursday nights. 
  • I rejoined a gym, YAY!!! Hopefully that will be the catalyst I need to lose the rest of my weight. I am dangerously close to 50 lbs. and then I would only have 10 more to go, and honestly I don't know where it's going to come from!! HA HA!!
  • Family fantasy football league draft is this Sunday and I need to get prepared.  I would really like to win one year!
So that is what is going through the brain right now. 


  1. For us getting a house was worth it! It is a huge responsibilty but I love coming home to it every day. Sounds like A LOT of work to be a firefighter. Hope it gets moving along soon. He's gonna be a busy busy man! Sorry about your dad's leg. He sounds like he's got an awesome attitude though.

  2. Agreed. The road to being a firefighter is a tough and long one, especially in this economy. He is going to be a busy man. Thanks for the kind words about my dad. He does have a pretty good attitude. That definitely helps things.