Tuesday, August 31, 2010

and another thing...

I have decided to go on a purge....   

I am slowly going to go through the house and get rid of anything that firefighter and I didn't purchase ourselves or that we didn't personally accept as a hand me down. We have SOOO much crap from his grandmother's house that we brought with us when we lived there in addition to the crap that was left in the house we are currently in. There is no attic space because of the items in there that belong to his family as well. We have hand me down curtains, hand me down dishes, glasses and furniture. It needs to GO!!!! Our house is far too small for us to store crap that we do not want and or need. 

Just an after though....

Oh and I have decided to change the theme of my kitchen to Sunflowers. They so make me happy and remind me of Italy.  


How can they not make you smile?!?!




on the brain

I have lots on my mind so I am going to attempt to cover them all at once: 
  • I want a house. I have made no secret of this. But am I so desperate to get out of where we live now that I will settle for any house?? Then I think about OWNING a house and I tend to get a panic attack, or at least a panicked feeling. Are we ready? Do we have enough money? Can I take care this house? What happens if something breaks? And the fact that most of the houses that I can afford are 30 mins south of EVERYTHING I know scares me. Is the job worth the drive in the traffic EVERY DAY?? Do I really want to be that far from my family? From my friends? This is consuming my thoughts all day everyday. 
  • My dad lost his right leg in July 2008. Not from diabetes, but from multiple infections. His left leg had a total knee replacement multiple times and was subjected to the same infections. The doctors have really tried to save the leg, but it looks like he is going to have to lose that leg as well. Deep down I think everyone in the family saw it coming. While no sane person wants to lose a limb, I think my father is a bit relieved. He won't be in any more pain. He hasn't been feeling up to going out and about with mom. He hasn't even been asking her to take him for a ride. That right there is a huge indication that he is in a lot of pain. This is affecting the whole family. My mother is having a hard time imagining that he will look like after the surgery and what physical limitations he will now face. It's a trying time. But my father has a great sense of humor. He is already referring to himself as Double Stump and referring to his stumps as his guns! LOL! You have to laugh.... if he has accepted it, then we need to. Selfishly, though, I have always dreamed that he would walk me down the aisle. And I know that there are prosthetics, so I am hopeful that things will work in our favor for once and he will be able to escort my down the aisle.
  • Firefighter hasn't officially started volunteering yet. It's quite a process to get to the actual volunteering. He has been poked and prodded and determined to be healthy so he is good to go now. And of course he thinks he is just King Shit... whatever! He explained to me that there are three tiers of volunteers: Those who do a bare minimum, something in the middle , and then there are those who do the maximum which is what he plans on doing. As long as it doesn't affect his work and we can still pay rent then we are cool. He is excited and I wish he could get started already. There are so many things that we have on hold waiting and waiting for him to get a schedule. I need a vacation and we are waiting for him to figure out when we can go. On top of volunteering he is going to have to take "classes" to learn our counties rules and procedures, etc. That is going to be a three day a week event.
  • I need a vacation DESPERATELY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully sometime in October Firefighter and I will be able to get to Epcot for the Food and Wine Festival. Should be a lot of fun!!! And then maybe we could hit up Disney at night time for the Fireworks. Ho hum.... here's to dreaming! 
  • Should be getting some money from my car accident last December. I need to call the attorney's office again and see what they have to say. Not looking at much, maybe $3k... MAYBE!!!!
  • Oh and Firefighter is bowling again. So on top of volunteering and working he will be bowling in TWO leagues...Monday nights and Thursday nights. 
  • I rejoined a gym, YAY!!! Hopefully that will be the catalyst I need to lose the rest of my weight. I am dangerously close to 50 lbs. and then I would only have 10 more to go, and honestly I don't know where it's going to come from!! HA HA!!
  • Family fantasy football league draft is this Sunday and I need to get prepared.  I would really like to win one year!
So that is what is going through the brain right now. 

Friday, August 27, 2010

Our bodies

most people do not treat their bodies the way they need to be treated. we eat what we want, drink what we want, poke holes in our selves and permanently scar our skin. our bodies have done nothing to deserve our not taking care of them and respecting them. we continue this behavior even when our bodies send up red flags saying WARNING WARNING you are hurting me you are damaging me. But we do not listen. Our brains, though part of our bodies, control our desires, our instincts and our decision making abilities. And sometimes people won't change their ways unless they have had a wake up call. Something needs to happen to make them surrender to the messages their body is sending them. it's sad but the truth. people need to hit rock bottom to be made aware that there is a problem. once they have waved the white flag surrendering to their bodies messages and pleas for help it may be too late. the damage may already be done. then you are left to deal with the consequences of the lifestyle you chose and it's aftermath on your body. that is when your body can betray you. it can turn on you and make your remaining years unbearable. it's your body's way of getting back at you for all of your mistreatment over the years. it isn't fair but every action has an equal and opposite reaction. so the more you drink the more liver damage you will do. the more drugs you do the more brain damage and organ issues you may face or whatever. the point is that you need to take care of your bodies. we need to respect and listen to our bodies. people don't always weigh the consequences of their actions, and later, pay for it dearly. 


"Respecting yourself means listening to your body and emotions continuously. Then acting beyond a linear logic to achieve ones goals."
-- Lord Dragnys 


Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power." 
-- Clint Eastwood

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

new cell phone

So I Sunday, I finally bit the bullet and got a new cell phone. I have been wanting it for months now and waiting and waiting for the price to go down to something more reasonable then $300. So this is what I got: 


This is my first black berry phone and so far I am in love. I had a samsung instinct. It was one of the first "smart" phones. Well, I was over the touch screen. It drove me NUTS!!! It was laggy and would freeze. I had no patience for that at all. 

We are still in the honeymoon phase, so things may change, but right now, it's my new best friend. I think firefighter is slightly jealous!! HEE HEE!!

blah...

I have so not been in the mood to blog lately. Not sure what it is. It goes in spurts for me apparently. 

Random side note: Firefighter has his first volunteer firefighting meeting tonight. We are SOOO excited and nervous. Can't wait to see where this will all lead to!!! Hopefully we can get a schedule of some kind down so that we can go on a vacation of some sort. I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM WORK!!!! 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Closure

How do you get closure with an ex?

I, unfortunately, still have random thoughts about my ex. And he is not completely banished, for lack of a better word, from my life. He married my best friend's sister! Small world right?!?! Sooo... every so often I hear about him and how they are doing...and I am not gonna lie, there are times when I have wondered if I made the right choice, based on our current life stats. He is married and has a house and they are trying for a baby. I have none of those things. Then I remember who he is as a person and realize I did make the right choice.  He was very selfish, very lazy and didn't seem to have much ambition. My ex, Stoner, is just that ... a stoner. That was a BIG issue for me. I wanted him to give it up and he chose not to so, I chose not to stay. I thought for a while he had given it up for his wife, but just discovered that he did not which has in turn kind of bit him in the arse... they can't get pregnant and their marriage is strained and their house is in foreclosure. I feel really bad for her. Not so much for him. It's been told to me that it's because of him they can't get pregnant. And the foreclosure - he decided not to work for a year, so they are now having financial difficulties. I AM NOT TRYING TO SOUND RIGHTEOUS, however, I truly believe that I dodged a bullet and my instincts were right.

Having said all this though, I still think about him... I guess deep down I want to know that I meant something to him, that it wasn't a complete waste of my time, or my life. I don't want to think about him anymore. I want it to go away. 

How did you get closure from an ex?

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Clean Eating



I discovered the Clean Eating magazine when I worked at Books A Million. I buy it religiously now. ( I should just subscribe, it would be cheaper). ANYWAY - it has some really great tips in there about "clean" ways to eat and tips about how to be better to the environment. It's not just about eating clean, its more so about clean living.  

Clean Eating, according to the magazine, is defined as follows:

1.) Eat five to six times a day- three meals and two to three small snacks, include a lean protein, plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and a complex carbohydrate with each meal. This keeps your body energized and burning calories efficiently all day long.

2.) Drink at least two liters of water a day (use a canteen)

3.) Get label savvy - clean foods contain just one or two ingredients. Any product with a long ingredient list is human made and not considered clean, 

4.) Avoid processed and refined foods such as white flour, sugar, bread and pasta. Enjoy complex carbs such as whole grains instead. 

5.) Know thy enemies - Steer clear of anything high in saturated and trans fats, anything fried or anything high in sugar. 

6.) Shop with a conscience - consume humanely raised and local meats.(not everyone can afford to buy the meats that were humanely raised, sadly)

7.) Learn about portion sizes

8.) Reduce your carbon footprint - eat produce that is seasonal and local.

9.) Drink water with a lemon wedge 

10.) Slow down and savor - never rush through eating 

11.) Take it to go

12.) Make it a family affair 

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Firefighter and Me



This photo was taken at my best friend's wedding. I just love it!!!! We look sooo good, if I do say so myself!!!!