Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Self Image

I am having a hard time adjusting to the fact that I am shrinking. When I look in the mirror I don't look THAT different. I look like me, but a little smaller. There are some obvious changes that I have noticed and make me happy, but there are other things that haven't really changed all that much yet. I can definitely notice it in my face and my hips, and my FEET!!!! Other places where I would like to notice the weight loss, like my stomach and my legs, I don't see it so much. I hope that I will over time. 

Shopping has become a lot more fun and dangerous at the same time.  I no longer have to buy XL, I am a Medium now. It's still shocking to me when I go shopping and try on mediums and they FIT me, I mean they actually FIT ME! It's hard to believe. It's been so long since I have been able to wear a medium that I forgot about all the options that are now available to me. Sometimes when I try things on I just stand in the dressing room in disbelief that I am wearing that smaller size. 

People's reactions are priceless too! I mean people are just, well, shocked. And while I appreciate the compliments about how great I look now, it makes me think to myself, "My god, was I really that fat?" I never considered myself fat. I considered myself overweight. So when I hear the comments and praise, it makes me think that I really was fat and that I was just living in a little dream world. Which very well may have been the case. I don't do well with compliments either. I get embarrassed and never really know what to day other then Thank you! 

On the flip side of this all, I have become a little bit of a diva in my own mind at times. I think to myself, "I look awesome" or "I am HOT". It's a bit more cocky then I used to perceive myself. I tend to walk with a bit of an air about me now, which can be good, because I am more confident now, but I don't want people thinking that I am a snob either. 

I am so very glad that I started this diet. Even with the struggling, it's been worth it. I feel like I am such a different person now. I feel like I have emerged from this shell in which I was hiding. Hopefully this will help me to be less scared in life. I truly believe that this experience has not just been about getting healthy, but it's been a life changing experience. I like who I am more now and I want so much more to embrace all of life. 

If I had my way, I'd go back and do high school all over again! Ha ha!!!


  1. Keep it up....you are doing a great job!

  2. thanks Kathryn! It's getting to a hard point though... ho hum. But I will keep going!