Wednesday, June 30, 2010


I am struggling. I have reached a plateau. I don't feel like I am gaining, but I don't feel like I am losing either. I no longer feel as guilty as I would for going off the plan, as I did in the beginning. I need to refocus and get my shit together. I also need to get back to the gym. I have really been slacking lately. I can blame my thyroid til I am blue in the face but that doesn't change anything. That doesn't change that I am reaching a lazy phase. Shopping definitely is incentive. I could have a field day shopping, but I am just getting bored too. The food is good that Medifast provides, but I need a change. I got their cookbook so that I can spice up my Lean and Green meals, but I haven't made any yet. There are many that I am excited to cook, but again, I am being lazy. And I am looking for excuses and I am justifying cheating all too easy. And then of course events come up that aide in the cheating: parties, dinners, holidays, etc. So I need to stop being Ms. Lazyass and get back to being as focused and charged as I was at the beginning. 

I have lost about 40-ish pounds. And that feels like such an accomplishment at times, that I think to myself do I really need to go on? Do I need to lose those last 20 lbs?? And you know what, I DO! I want to be able to wear smaller clothes (there are more options), I want to look awesome in a wedding dress and I want to be more active therefore being more healthy. These are all the things that I hope to motivate me to get off my slightly smaller ass and get refocused.  

I need to do something for Firefighter too! He isn't as active as he used to be and he is getting lazier and eating really, really bad foods. That makes me feel bad at times for being on my diet. He doesn't like any vegetables except carrots (only raw), celery (only raw) and corn (only cooked). He will eat salads as well. He has put on weight and I don't know what to do to motivate him. He is drinking more beer and I am sure that isn't helping and he doesn't really care what he puts in his mouth. I guess I need to just step it up and start making healthier things for him too, but he is so limited in what he likes that it's SO hard. OY VEY!! 

Between the two of us, I think I am going to pull my hair out!!!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Coming soon to a theater near you...

I can't wait to see the following movies this summer: 
I am currently reading Eat, Pray, Love so I am excited to see what the movie translation will be like. I did see a trailer on the Sex and the City 2 movie and it took me by surprise. I forget when I see the preview that it's based on a true story. Weird huh? Reading it doesn't at all feel like a fictional work, but the movie gives it a fictional vibe. I don't understand it... OH well. I love Julia Roberts too so that is additional incentive to see the movie. 

Charlie St. Cloud looks like a good story, and Zac Efron has really turned into quite the little actor. I know he isn't little by any means... And he is a cutie with muscles so that helps. Muscles make everything better. (*GRIN*) The story in this movie looks really sad and I am excited to see how it unfolds. 

The other two movies I am interested in seeing are: Life as We Know It with Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel. This movie appears to be about two people who are given the honor of being named god parents to their friends child. Tragedy strikes and they are faced with the job of raising their friend's child, together. It looks cute! And then there is Going the Distance with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long which appears to be about two people in a long distance relationship and all the challenges they face.

And of course I think I would be remiss if I didn't mention that I am looking forward to seeing this movie as well, maybe you have heard of it:

Homebody or Social Butterfly? Can you be both?

I am a homebody. Once I get home from work, I am home, generally speaking. Firefighter (formerly lovingly referred to as A) has become quite the social butterfly lately. Every chance he gets he goes out or wants to go out. He made himself a promise, that once he was done with paramedic school, he would go out as much as he could because he had to sacrifice so much last year. It's true...last year was a bit rough for him, he never really got to do anything. He basically stopped all extra curricular activities, i.e. bowling, golfing, etc. Now that he is done with school, he is the king of socializing. It really bothers me that he feels the need to go out so much. He never seems to want to stop, to catch his breath to just stay home and relax. Don't get me wrong, I have really enjoyed being more social and I have really enjoyed having some kind of a life, but there are days when I want to just stay home and relax. It seems like since our friend, Engineer's girlfriend ,Bartender started working at a bar that is close to us, Firefighter goes there whenever Engineer is there visiting her. I don't care that he goes, but then he spends money. And it seems like we are up Engineer and Bartender's behinds every weekend. 

See Firefighter is not currently working as a firefighter right now, he is a movie theatrer manager. And up until recently he had Saturdays off. Then after talking to Engineer about being about to go out on Engineer's dad's boat on Sundays, Firefighter decided to take Sundays off. This was not something that pleased me. Saturdays used to be OUR days. We would go to lunch, run errands or just hang out. Now we hardly do anything alone together. Granted, I get that we are together when we are hanging out with Engineer and Bartender, but it's very rarely just us anymore. And deep down I had a feeling that this was going to happen when he switched his day off. The only silver lining is that now, he can attend my family's events that we have on Sundays. 

I am not saying that I want to stop the socializing and return to the life of a permanent homebody. I feel like we finally have some kind of life and I am grateful for that. I am grateful that we are embracing life and not just watching it pass us by, but there needs to be some sort of balance. We need to be able to be both. Is that too much too ask??

Sunday, June 27, 2010


I hate clubs. I would never go to one on my own. I need to be invited and there needs to be a good reason. The music is too loud, the people are too drunk and clubs are usually VERY crowded. You can't talk to people, you bump into each other and I don't see the point of getting all dressed up to go and get sweaty. It's a mystery to me. I guess I am getting old. Ha Ha!!!! However, the only time I enjoy dancing and bumping into other drunk people is at a wedding reception. A can really get down too. He has a blast and is a rather creative dancer!

I was invited to a club, Gilligan's, Friday night for my friend's 30th birthday party. It was ok. I didn't drink at all. I was hungry and I am on this diet so I wasn't sure how I would have handled my liquor. So I wasn't exactly a dancing fiend. But I did attempt to dance with her and her other drunken friends. There is something to be said about being the only sober person around drunk people. They are HILARIOUS!

Anyway in true club etiquette a guy came up and started dancing "with" me. It was flattering seeing that he was 22-ish and I am 30. As flattering as it was though, it also made me uncomfortable. I was hesitant to really "embrace" the dancing together thing, I was afraid he would have tried putting his hands on me and THAT would have made me VERY uncomfortable. One of the girls that my friend was with was dancing, or rather grinding with this guy she just met at the club and he had his hands all over her... and that is not for me. MAYBE if I had been a little tipsy I would have not thought about it so much or analyzed it so much, but I still think that I would have been uncomfortable. I mean, not too sound old or anything, but I am in a relationship and for some reason that would have made me feel "dirty". Thank goodness I had a nice young man who seemed to get that I wasn't familiar with clubbing etiquette and he didn't push anything on me. 

It wasn't too bad when I got there, the club was a little empty, which I was grateful for. It wasn't too smoky and there wasn't a whole lot of drunk people crowding the dance floor. 

If all clubs could be like that, then maybe it wouldn't be too bad. 

Movie Review: Sex and the City 2 (NO SPOILERS...just opinion)

So Friday night, I went and saw "Sex and the City 2" with my girlfriend. I had been excited about it and tried not to read anything on it, but there was so much out there about it that it was hard not to hear the reviews and comments. I didn't hear too many things about it, but I was able to pick up the general vibe on the movie and the verdict was that it wasn't good. Needless to say I went into the movie with lowered expectations. It's a good thing too... the movie did not rock my world. There were many parts of the movie that could have been cute and the acting seemed forced at times, which saddened me. I love the ladies... but they were not the same ladies that were in the first movie. The first movie in my opinion felt like a long episode of Sex and the City. The second movie felt like a movie, and not in the good way. I really hope the franchise stops here. I truly feel there isn't anymore of a story to be told. The women are all set in who they are and in their relationships. The fashion was ok, some of it was not my taste, actually most of it wasn't. There were very few funny moments and the writing seemed trite. 

Overall it was a good movie to see for entertainment purposes only, but I wouldn't go in with high expectations that it exceeds the first movie in any way, because it doesn't.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Movie Review: The Messenger

Tonight we watched this movie, The Messenger, starring Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson. The basic premise behind this movie is the story of the men who are responsible for delivering the news of a loved one's death while fighting the war to their next of kin. Ben Foster's character is on his way out of the army and in his final days he is assigned to the Casualty Notification team. Throughout the movie you see how Foster's character struggles with the new job that he has been given and how he deals with the residual damages he has to cope with from his stint in Iraq. Harrelson, as Foster's teacher, tells him to handle the NOK (next of kin) in a hands off manner. You can tell Foster just wants to envelope these people and help them grieve. There is no solace in this job. Can you imagine being the one that has to tell a soldier's family that he has died or been killed in action? Not an easy task. How do you do this without showing emotion? How do you remain so detached? So cold? Of course it's all an act, a coping mechanism... They crack jokes and behave ridiculously, but to them it's a way to handle what they have seen or what they are dealing with. At one point during the movie A announced that this is a job he could do. And he is right, he is able to separate himself from the situation and handle the job at hand. It's just the way he is wired.

I would not want to have his job. You never know how people are going to react. You never know what they will do. In this movie Foster's character was spit on, Harrelson got punched, and then one woman actually said "This must have been hard for you" and shook their hands. Amazing.... 

Woody Harrelson's character had some great lines. It added some great light moments to this otherwise heavy subject movie.
This is yet another movie that didn't do well at the theaters but got a lot of recognition and accolades. 

Not a OMG movie that you need to see, but it was a good movie that I enjoyed. 

And for some reason, I think Ben Foster is HOT!! 

Marilyn says it best....

Saturday, June 19, 2010

I love this song. Sadly, the video isn't streaming on line for free, so this is the best that I can do for the time being. I stole this pic from My Teacups in Peony! 

Thursday, June 17, 2010

the only things...

The Drama Queen Cometh

The Drama Queen to which I am referring is A's sister, C. She will be arriving on Sunday. And with her arrival I am sure a good amount of drama will surely follow.

She moved to Orange City, outside of Orlando, a few years ago and life has been "quiet" ever since. No drama, no yelling, no loud mouth arguments between her and her mother or her and her grandmother or her and A. A doesn't like his sister. He has the obligatory familial love for her, but is that even a real feeling if it's only because she is his sister and not of who she is as a person? 

I hate saying that she is a nuisance because she does have some great qualities. She is generous, she has a big heart, she has good intentions, she is very smart, crafty and family oriented. However, she is domineering, like her mother, has control issues, she is a pot stirrer, a liar, a know it all, and disrespectful. If she feels that she is right about something she never lets it go. In those situations I have learned to be like, "Ok C, you are right". It's not worth my time or energy. She has explained her unpleasant childhood to me and A tells me that I shouldn't believe her or rather to take it all with a grain of salt. I am a very naive, gullible person and tend to believe everything that anybody tells me.  So when she was around and telling me things he would get frustrated with me because I would believe everything and tell him and he would tell me not to listen to her and he actually doesn't like me spending time with her, his own sister.

However, in the same breath I did enjoy her company and did enjoy shopping with her. She would help me with ideas for my house and find deals and we always had fun together. Oh well....  This was a ray of light for me. I have always wanted to be close to a family member of A's. He doesn't exactly have the best family life, as I have mentioned before. I often wonder if I should still have her in the wedding, when we do get married (hee hee). I have a fear that she will try and control it, like I fear her mother would as well, that is for another time. Also it would be out of obligation not necessarily because I want her to be there.

She moved over to Orange City to live with her fiance, who is the sweetest guy. I really do not know how he puts up with her. No one in the family knows how he puts up with her. 

Needless to say I have a knot in my stomach.  Hopefully this will be a stress-less (HA) visit. 

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I started this blog a long time ago and for no particular reason. Now I am on here everyday reading miscellaneous blogs that I follow and itching to write some interesting post that will catch me a lot of followers. But often times I just peruse through the other blogs and think to myself how can I make this more interesting? There are SO many different things that I want to write about. I start blog posts all over the place, in notebooks, in my head, on receipts, etc. I have all of these ideas for blog posts and none of them seem to come to fruition. I often wonder how my blog friends come up with the things that they post about. I feel like there is nothing interesting that I have to say to anyone else but me. I am always surprised when I have comments. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy!! There are posts that I have written in my head for the future, that I hope will make it out of my head and onto the computer.

I also have a blog where I vent about my confusion about all things political. Right now there isn't much on there, but I am always looking for things to add to it. My big thing right now is immigration. The thing is that every time I turn around something else seems to come to light about immigration and then I have to rework the entire thing I want to write about. I have actually started an outline. Hopefully I will get it on there soon, however I don't have any followers on that blog, and it's ok!

I know it may seem like a bit much, but I really do enjoy sharing my ideas and opinions on things. I just wish more people would read it. HA! I enjoy the writing part, the using of words. Hopefully I will get better at this and meet more people and discover more things. One great thing about this is that I seem to have found my voice through this process. And I am so glad about that! It makes me happy! 

So what inspires you to blog? 

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Is it wrong...

My friend and I are both on the same diet. We are both losing lots of weight. We are both running out of clothes. She has given me some things that don't fit her anymore. Some of the items fit, some of them don't. I was thinking about selling them either on craigslist or at a consignment shop. Would that be wrong? My beau thinks as long as I don't tell her it would be fine, but I am not sure how long I could go without saying something and not feeling guilty. 

And for the record these are good quality clothes, Ann Taylor Loft. Not cheap but not WalMart clothes either. 

I am conflicted. 

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Movie Review: Killers

This was such a cute movie!!!! And OMG.... could Ashton Kutcher BE any HOTTER!!! I want one of him please. 

Anyway, this was a cute romantic comedy. It wasn't graphic or "violent" in an original way. It had some violent moments, intertwined with comedy so it wasn't bad at all. I really liked the chemistry between Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl. They worked well together and they meshed well. I was very entertained and wanted more. It wasn't a very long movie either. 

You got to see a nice share of Ashton's abs! Oh good lord... it should be illegal to look that good. Ashton Kutcher is one of my favorite actors lately. He is just so natural and so good at what he does. He has great comedic timing and he is believable. Katherine Heigl I have liked since "Grey's Anatomy". I enjoyed her in "Knocked Up" as well. It's nice to see that she is versatile. Although I wasn't happy that she left Grey's I am glad that she is still acting. I hope to see more of her around in upcoming movies. Katherine is a good actress, not great, but she is good at the romantic quirky comedies.

The movie had some great romantic moments and some great action moments and good comedic moments. Heigl's character, Jen, is too dependent on her parents and Kutcher's character, Spencer, is far more independent. They meet in Nice, France post -break up for Heigl. Jen and Spencer hit it off and have a whirl wind romance and become consummed in their "love bubble".Heigl's parents played by Catherine O'Hara and Tom Selleck really helped to make a few of the scenes, especially Catherine O'Hara. She was hilarious!!! Before you know it Jen and Spencer are married in a GORGEOUS house with a "normal" life. That is shortly turned upside down when the life Spencer thought he left behind comes back to haunt him. There was a nice little twist to the movie, that sadly I had figured out about half way in... ho hum! This is a great mindless movie that doesn't require a lot of active concentrating to follow the story line and it's a great way to just be entertained.

And did I mention Ashton's Abs?? It just isn't fair that he is married to Demi Moore!!!! Does that mean we aren't going to get anymore little Ashton's running around?? He is too good looking to not procreate!!

Friday, June 11, 2010

In love...

I am officially in love with my new layout! It's so pretty, so simple, so me!!!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

When I grow up

When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer, because my brother wanted to be a lawyer. I wanted a BMW because he wanted one. I don’t recall that I ever had something that “I wanted to be when I grew up”. Now it is biting me in the ass. I didn’t go to a university. I attempted community college, and I didn’t finish it. I have no clue what I want to be, when I grow up. Although, I am already considered a grown up. When I think about the things that I enjoy doing, cooking and entertaining, it makes me wonder if I have always been destined to be a housewife/stay at home mom. Believe me, there is NOTHING wrong with that and it is a life that I think I would be quite content with, however there are days when I wonder if I want more. I want to be able to be around for my children and watch them grow and experience their first steps, their first tooth, their first word, and all the other firsts they will have to experience. I work for two very head strong, passionate, partial feminists. It makes me feel inadequate when I think about the fact that I would rather stay at home and tend to my family then be in the working world. It’s such a difficult decision for some women to make, to have to choose: their career or their family. It’s not a fair choice or position for ANYONE to be in.

Deep down I do want to go to school. I enjoy learning and surrounding myself with smart people. I feel smarter by extension. In regards to my family, my sister didn’t go to college, but both of my brothers did. And I wonder to myself, how come they were able to tough it out? I have so many interests and that poses another problem. One thing that I really think I would enjoy is child psychology or something involved in child development. I think I have ADD that has never been diagnosed. It is really hard for me to really focus and concentrate on anything for an extensive period of time. When my guy was in school, it really inspired me to go back to school, but I didn’t follow through. I went through the motions and looked at schools and career fields, and it seemed overwhelming and I guess I basically got scared and dropped it. Not to mention that there isn’t anything out there that I LOVE enough or feel that I could stick with long enough to have student loans. That is a lot of money. My parents didn’t have the ability to stash money for me for a college fund, like A’s parents did, which is why he was able to go to school. Not to mention that the way I would like to do school I can’t really do right now. I would prefer to quit working and focus on school full time. But I can’t do that I have a job that I need.

I feel inadequate because I don’t have a college education. I feel like there is so much about the world that I am oblivious to because I missed out on a college education. I feel like there is something missing in my life. I know there is time and it’s not too late, but I have doubts about how much I want it!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Magic Kingdom .. AGAIN

We are basically like living at Disney World now. Or rather we will be. We've now upgraded to a weekday annual pass. I am excited because then I can go to the Food and Wine Festival at Epcot and go to the Magic Kingdom at the beginning of December for Christmas. I am SOOO excited! 

So we went to Magic Kingdom a few weeks ago with some friends. It was such fun! 
So it was a good day! I don't care how many times I go there, it makes me feel like a little kid. Like I am seeing it for the first time.

It is the happiest place on Earth after all!

Sunday, June 6, 2010


I am frustrated. 

My guy and I have been together a long time... 11 years. And we aren't married. He wants to wait until we are financially secure before we take that step. For a while I couldn't understand it. There were days that I wanted to walk away, to break up with him... But I love him and I know that he loves me and that he wants to marry me and have a family with me. I get that seemingly putting our life on hold is not exactly the best idea, believe me I have my moments. For a while when people would ask me why we weren't married I would shrug my shoulders and say it was all my guy... Now that I am losing the weight, I am not so sure that it isn't me too. I want to be a healthy mom, a healthy bride. Right now it has become more important for me to get healthy. And in doing so, I can almost see A's rationality. We aren't making a lot of money, we can't even afford a house. We have one car payment right now, what happens if we have two and then have a kid? I don't have insurance, neither does A. 

I am tired of defending our relationship to people. For the most part people know that we are together and that we love each other and that we plan to get married and have a family. I realize that since we are in our 30's people have a hard time understanding why we aren't married, and I can say that I feel their frustration, but, I love him, he makes me happy and he makes me laugh. He is who I want to be with, he is who I want to grow old with. Am I settling or am I standing by my man? Am I committed or crazy? Either way outsiders look at it, all that matters is that we love each other and that we make each other happy.

"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans" - John Lennon "Beautiful Boy"

I believe this quote, I really do... but if the other plans you are making create a life, did you really miss out?

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Movie Review: Sicko

We watched Sicko tonight, a documentary by Michael Moore. This movie is primarily about the poor health care we have in this county. Moore visited Canada, England, France and Cuba - all of these countries offer free health care. The idea that Americans are treated like second rate citizens is a horrible realization to watch. Granted with documentaries, especially Moore, we are only getting one side of the story. He is famous for exposing the bad things to the American people. Granted these are all things that we need to know and things that we should know. It's sad that we don't know the things that are going on in this country. Of course, these may be things that most people already know, and I may be the only one living under a rock. Some of the things that I found fascinating is the fact that America has one of the worst infant mortality rates, 18,000 people die every year because they don't have insurance, hospitals dump patients off on the side of the road if they can't pay their bill, and a host of other things. In this country we don't treat health care as an obligation, we treat it as a privilege. In England doctors actually get bonuses or incentives for keeping their patients healthy, where as here, doctors get incentives for prescribing patients drugs, and insurance companies offer bonuses if they are able to save the company money. If denials are maintained at 10% then insurance adjusters or whatever, are doing their jobs. In France the citizens are offered free college education, minimal day care costs, and 35 hour work weeks. Something that is even more disturbing than this, I think, is the fact that on Guantanamo Bay, where there are prisoners and terrorists being held, they receive better treatment then people who helped at ground zero. They get preventative medical treatment. And something else that is disturbing, is that the people on the base actually believe that Americans on HMOs get the same kind of care. Which couldn't be further from the truth. People on HMOs get the run around trying to get coverage for their illness, while the very people that attacked this country get it for FREE!!! They get cancer screenings and diabetes screenings amongst other things. In Cuba, they ask you if you have a pre-existing condition to better help, not as a form of rejection. Doesn't that seem a little backwards??? If this is what the new health care is going to be like , I am not sure that it would be so bad. I realize that our taxes will be higher, and I think it could be worth it. Canadians live 3 years longer then we do. 

Insurance companies have a laundry list of things that they consider pre-existing conditions that they will not cover you as a result of. In the movie, one woman who was in a car accident was told by the insurance company that her ambulance ride wasn't covered, because it wasn't pre-approved!!! SERIOUSLY?!?!? She was knocked out unconscious in a car accident. Then if you get sick they look over your applications and or paperwork to see if there is something they can drop you for. One woman was dropped for having a yeast infection previously. That wasn't a serious medical condition, but since she was having female problems and didn't disclose that she had a yeast infection, the insurance company dropped her. It's unbelievable!! I can't believe that we treat people like this and have no problems. It is really disgusting! It is a sad state of affairs when the elderly in this country have to work in their "golden" years so that they can afford medical care and prescriptions. That particularly bothers me since both of my parents are in their "golden" years. 

We are not taking care of our citizens. This country has become greedy and selfish. Watching this movie and seeing how well they are treated in Canada, France, England and Cuba really left me with a knot of disgust in my stomach. We are supposed to be the land of the free and we are supposed to take care of our citizens. How is it that other countries know this and we don't?? How can we feel ok about taking money from Insurance  companies to deny people coverage they need to save their lives, taking money from pharmaceutical companies to push pills down Americans throats.

I love this country, I just wish we weren't so greedy and that we would take better care of our citizens.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010


I can't believe that it is June already... Seriously, where has the year gone. It's just not fair the rate at which time passes. I feel like it was January JUST yesterday. Not to mention that it is hurricane season too! For the record, I am one of those weird people that LOVES thunderstorms. I love the wind and the sound of the rain... I love hunkering down in my house and just "being" there. Thankfully *knocks on wood* I have never had to endure a full fledged hurricane, otherwise I might feel differently. They are just so fascinating to me. So are tornadoes for that matter. Anyway, I digress.... It saddens me that the year is halfway over. It saddens me that life is happening so quickly. Now that I have lost this weight, there is SO much that I want to do... but I can't. Mainly because I don't have the money. HA! If only I were rich! We played the lottery last night... $200 million or something crazy like that. Wouldn't that be AWESOME!!! Oh well.... *fingers crossed*