Saturday, May 8, 2010

living arrangements

A and I aren’t married, and we are currently renting a house from his parents. I am not happy with the situation. I want out of this house so bad, but we can’t afford to go anywhere else. I hate being tethered to them being in this house. However, when there is a problem with the house, instead of paying “rent” we get the problem fixed and don’t have to pay “rent” on top of it. Right now, however, we aren’t paying rent. He just stopped giving them money. I never suggested that we not pay rent, but I have always objected to the amount. He is their flesh and blood they shouldn’t be making money off of him. We haven’t really had to opportunity to save money because the rent was so high, then we had to get a roommate which was an experience.

This house is A’s paternal grandparents house. They have been gone for a while now. The house is in A’s dad’s name. A’s mom is a little bit on the money hungry side, because she has a spending habit and likes to travel. Before we moved in they were merely making a profit off of the house. There is no mortgage or anything. It’s an older house. The kitchen is teeny, there is no dishwasher and we can’t put one in, the rooms are small, there is only ONE bathroom, which has become an issue more than once, and the walls are made of plaster so I can’t hang anything on the walls, and there is no garage. We have NO storage space. The laundry room is teeny, and up until recently was flooding when the washer rinse cycle started. A corrected the problem, thank goodness. We have furniture that we took with us from the previous place we moved from that was A’s grandmother’s and I feel like we are destined to keep it forever. There is nothing wrong with the furniture, except that it is taking up space. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something in each and every corner. I don’t feel at home here. A lot of our stuff was handed down as I mentioned earlier. Our couch is falling apart, my bedroom set is aging, and not well, it’s too big for the master bedroom. I want to get some new furniture, but I am so conflicted about what my “style” is. I like some cottage type furniture and anything that would be considered “casual”. I have added some pictures on the walls (with command hooks), but nothing too exciting. My mom keeps trying to convince me to paint the inside of the house. And I would, but I don’t feel a connection here, and that kills my desire to put any effort into this house. I also want a new couch. I want a sofa and a love seat, however, A feels strongly that we should stick with the sectional idea that we have had for the past 7 years. We do have people over quite a bit, and most of his friends are not petite people. But the room is so small and a sectional feels like it overtakes the space. I want to start making a home, a life for us. I feel weighted down by this house and the crap in it that isn’t ours. We have out grown the house and there is NOTHING out there we want or can afford. We are snobs when it comes to a house for us, I am not going to lie. We aren’t that couple that will buy a place and gut it and remodel, it’s not who WE are. I wish that we were a couple like that, but I know us too well. I have talked to a mortgage guy about how much we could afford, and it’s not much. Then to look at the local market for that range, it’s troublesome. The houses, are, pardon me, dives. They are all in need of TLC and in bad locations. Condos are out of the questions because of our dog. He is too big and it’s not fair to put him in a small place. So we are going to have to wait until A gets a better job, and that is another post for another day. 

Right now I am watching “Sex and the City” and that is what sparked this thought process for me. Carrie and Big are moving in together into a place that HE bought. And SHE wouldn’t have any legal rights to the place if something were to happen. Well, that applies to me. I could always go home to my parents, but I am 30 and the thought of moving BACK into the house, makes me apprehensive. When A and I get a place, I do have one stipulation… we either need to be engaged or married at the time. There is no way that I am not going to enter into that kind of responsibility without a promise that we are in it together.


  1. I can totally identify. I lived in crappy apartments for years. Never bothered with decorating. I just had no desire. I wanted the place to look nice but it seemed hopeless so I said forget it. Right now I live in a teeny tiny studio. It's cute but tiny with no storage and it's driving me NUTS! Believe me I know what it's like to not feel at peace in your living space. I hope that you can get yourself into a more comfortable space soon. (I'm a new Follower!! : )

  2. YAY! Thank you for following me!