Wednesday, May 26, 2010


I am currently reading Eat, Pray, Love. I am only on page 100 and I have had the book for 3 months. I am having a hard time getting into it. I don't read that many biographies, and to be honest, the only reason I am reading it, is because it's going to be made into a movie. I am SO one of those people. Hopefully I will be able to get more into the book soon. I have a stack of books waiting for me to read them. That was the one curse of working at a bookstore part time... I would find all of these books that sounded good. I tried, and was able to, stick to the clearance section of the store. They had a lot of variety. However, right before I quit I did buy a few things full price, and this was one of the books. I also bought Very Valentina by Adriana Trigiani. I can't wait to read that one either. I also have Almost Moon by Alice Sebold, who wrote Lonely Bones. I really enjoyed that book. Anyway - I am rambling... I truly enjoy reading and I love nothing more then being able to get lost in a good book and get attached and invested in the characters and their stories. I am so envious of people's ability to be creative and the put their ideas out there. Deep down a part of me has always wanted to be a writer. I don't really have any great or new ideas though so I guess that kind of puts me off. Ho hum... I long for a vacation when I can sit and read and not be interrupted. Hopefully when we go on that cruise I will be able to catch up on my reading.That is all for now. I know nothing spectacular. I have other things that I am planning on writing about this week hopefully. 

Happy Memorial Day, in case I don't get back before then. Stay safe!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Me: An Update

As I mentioned in a previous post, I had a doctor's appt on Thursday, 5/6/10. It went well. I didn't even mind stepping on the scale. (hee hee) Overall they are pleased with the weight loss and they have approved of the Medifast diet. (I was a little concerned) However, the weight loss caused me to become HYPERthyroid, when I was previously diagnosed as HYPOthyroid. Before I started the diet I was somewhat balanced, which is hard to achieve when you are taking a thyroid hormone daily. So in an attempt to adjust me and get me "balanced" again, the doctor has lowered my Armor dosage. I have noticed 2 huge differences already...I am sleeping! I even fall asleep early!! AND the constant hunger is gone.

I knew something was up with me because I my internal thermostat was off. That is what really triggered me to go to the doctor. When I got there she proceeded to tell me that my TSH was really really scarily low and that I shouldn't be feeling good. Then she rattled off other things that were symptoms of being hyperthyroid...insomnia (I had that), insatiable appetite (I had that), and heart palpitations (I had that).The heart palpitations scared the crap out of me, because I was trying an aerobics class and after 30 minutes of not intense exercise my heart was RACING!!! Scared the crap out of me. Now rereading the link I posted, there were other symptoms that I had as well and never thought about it, like the weight loss...I am on a diet so that was something that was overlooked.

I have been losing the weight at a pretty consistent pace, about 2 lbs a week or so. Some weeks were more, some weeks were less. I like the pace at which I lost the first 30lbs, and I am hoping to lose the remaining 30 at the same speed. I mean I lost 30 lbs in 3 months, that is awesome. Right now for some reason though, probably the thyroid med adjustments, I feel like I am not losing anything at all and that is scaring me. I understand that a lot of the initial weight loss was probably water weight, but dammit I want to lose it quickly...I am not a patient person when it comes to dieting. In my warped little mind it should come off faster then it went on. I also need to start getting back to my gym routine. I have a membership to the Y that I pay for monthly and I am NOT using it to it's full ability. I need to get 45 mins of vigorous activity everyday and I haven't had the motivation, which again, I blame on the thyroid med dosage being off.

Yes I do tend to blame a lot of my issues and lack of motivation on the thyroid meds, and I need to stop that because it isn't always the case. However, what else am I supposed to think when I had all of this motivation and was doing so well, and then it just stops.... that is so weird to me. I do know that I am beginning to get comfortable and some what bored with the diet. I need to order the Medifast cookbook and get some new lean and green ideas. The things I make get boring after a while.

So that is the ME update!!! For the record I am down 35 lbs, although it doesn't feel like it, sadly.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


We are planning on taking a cruise later this year. A's parents are treating him since he graduated paramedic school. I am SOOO excited. The picture to the left is the ship we are going to try and go on. We are also trying to corral a group of friends to go as well. Believe me when I say though that I am NOT looking forward to spending a week with A's mom AND his sister. They are too similar and annoy each other, which means that there will be fighting. HO HUM! Hopefully, by the time the cruise comes around, we are thinking October, I will be at my goal weight and happy. That will also mean that I will be able to drink... like a fish. Not that I ever drink like a fish, two drinks usually is enough for me, plus I will weigh less, so it will be easier to get drunk. This will be my third cruise. I am STOKED!!! We are looking to go to the Eastern Caribbean...St. Thomas, St. Marteen.. A doesn't really like getting off of the ship too much.  The last couple cruises we went on, he got offered weed at all the ports he got off at.. HA HA!! Cruises are sooo much fun. If you haven't been on one, I recommend going on one. It's so relaxing not having to drive anywhere yet you get to travel. And the open sea, while daunting at times, can be so relaxing. I can't wait. My muscles are taking a sigh of relief as we speak, and it's not for another 5 months! OY!!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

living arrangements

A and I aren’t married, and we are currently renting a house from his parents. I am not happy with the situation. I want out of this house so bad, but we can’t afford to go anywhere else. I hate being tethered to them being in this house. However, when there is a problem with the house, instead of paying “rent” we get the problem fixed and don’t have to pay “rent” on top of it. Right now, however, we aren’t paying rent. He just stopped giving them money. I never suggested that we not pay rent, but I have always objected to the amount. He is their flesh and blood they shouldn’t be making money off of him. We haven’t really had to opportunity to save money because the rent was so high, then we had to get a roommate which was an experience.

This house is A’s paternal grandparents house. They have been gone for a while now. The house is in A’s dad’s name. A’s mom is a little bit on the money hungry side, because she has a spending habit and likes to travel. Before we moved in they were merely making a profit off of the house. There is no mortgage or anything. It’s an older house. The kitchen is teeny, there is no dishwasher and we can’t put one in, the rooms are small, there is only ONE bathroom, which has become an issue more than once, and the walls are made of plaster so I can’t hang anything on the walls, and there is no garage. We have NO storage space. The laundry room is teeny, and up until recently was flooding when the washer rinse cycle started. A corrected the problem, thank goodness. We have furniture that we took with us from the previous place we moved from that was A’s grandmother’s and I feel like we are destined to keep it forever. There is nothing wrong with the furniture, except that it is taking up space. I feel like everywhere I turn there is something in each and every corner. I don’t feel at home here. A lot of our stuff was handed down as I mentioned earlier. Our couch is falling apart, my bedroom set is aging, and not well, it’s too big for the master bedroom. I want to get some new furniture, but I am so conflicted about what my “style” is. I like some cottage type furniture and anything that would be considered “casual”. I have added some pictures on the walls (with command hooks), but nothing too exciting. My mom keeps trying to convince me to paint the inside of the house. And I would, but I don’t feel a connection here, and that kills my desire to put any effort into this house. I also want a new couch. I want a sofa and a love seat, however, A feels strongly that we should stick with the sectional idea that we have had for the past 7 years. We do have people over quite a bit, and most of his friends are not petite people. But the room is so small and a sectional feels like it overtakes the space. I want to start making a home, a life for us. I feel weighted down by this house and the crap in it that isn’t ours. We have out grown the house and there is NOTHING out there we want or can afford. We are snobs when it comes to a house for us, I am not going to lie. We aren’t that couple that will buy a place and gut it and remodel, it’s not who WE are. I wish that we were a couple like that, but I know us too well. I have talked to a mortgage guy about how much we could afford, and it’s not much. Then to look at the local market for that range, it’s troublesome. The houses, are, pardon me, dives. They are all in need of TLC and in bad locations. Condos are out of the questions because of our dog. He is too big and it’s not fair to put him in a small place. So we are going to have to wait until A gets a better job, and that is another post for another day. 

Right now I am watching “Sex and the City” and that is what sparked this thought process for me. Carrie and Big are moving in together into a place that HE bought. And SHE wouldn’t have any legal rights to the place if something were to happen. Well, that applies to me. I could always go home to my parents, but I am 30 and the thought of moving BACK into the house, makes me apprehensive. When A and I get a place, I do have one stipulation… we either need to be engaged or married at the time. There is no way that I am not going to enter into that kind of responsibility without a promise that we are in it together.

I want this...

I love this scene, where they are sitting in bed together reading. Then when we have kids, they can come and sit in bed with us and be all family-like.

I want this! 

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

songs i love at the moment

- OMG - Usher ft.

- Break me Out - The Rescues (heard on Grey's Anatomy and the Olympics)

- Welcome to Mystery - Plain White T's (from Alice in Wonderland)

- Imma Be -Black Eyed Peas

- Baby - Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris (DON"T JUDGE)

- Break your heart - Taio Cruz ft. Ludacris

- Assassin / Heartbreak Warfare - John Mayer *I am really starting to like John Mayer. Very good stuff!*

- Your love is my drug / Tik Tok - Ke$ha

- Say Hey (I love you) - Michael Franti

What songs are you digging right now?

Movie Review: Iron Man

Well I would have liked to have had a bigger picture for this movie. Because it is such a BIG movie!!!

So I have to say that I really enjoyed the movie. Robert Downey, Jr. is AWESOME!!! I just love him. The beginning was a little uncomfortable for me to watch. I have always disliked war type movies/terrorists plots... so that was hard for me to watch. Gwenyth Paltrow was unexpected. I can't really see her as a damsel in distress. She was ok, but I am not really a fan of her work. Beau Bridges was GREAT!!! You know when an actor is a good actor when they make you HATE them, and I hated him. Really hated him. I liked the plot, the action. and the comedy was great as well. I am interested in seeing what the sequel has in store. That starts Friday. It's been a while since I have seen a good action movie. This was a good one. It's a good "date" movie. "A" has already seen the movie so he knew everything that was happening. I am glad he didn't answer all of my questions. In his opinion, Terrence Howard, who was also in the movie as a friend to Tony Stark (Downey) was a great asset to the film. He is bothered that Terrence won't be in the sequel.

There are terrorists depicted in this movie, and I often wonder how the actors that portray the terrorists feel about portraying terrorists. It's an awful stereotype. Sadly when I watch movies that portray terrorists or any kind of war act, I can't help but wonder if we offer ideas to other countries of how to get to us? I am not naive, I know that it's not too likely that an Iron Man will be created. But the torture practices, the weapon ideas, I can't help but wonder if we open a can of worms with the movies that we make at times.

Toward the end of the movie there is some gratuitous fighting that takes place and I was able to look away from the screen. I dislike gratuitous fighting or gratuitous violence in movies. I understand it's for the men and to make the movie longer, but it's unnecessary. I

have to say that
the concepts of Tony Stark's brain are amazing. The technology is awesome and awe inspiring! It's crazy to think that people have these thoughts and to create these things. Just unbelievable.

So yea, I would recommend this movie to all, for Robert Downey, Jr. alone!!

Life's Road

Why are we not always happy with the path we have taken? Why is hindsight always 20/20? Why can't foresight be as clear? You choose a road, you follow a path that you feel will be the best for you, then after you become invested or have created a life you may begin to question your decisions, and all aspects of your life. Of course at the time a new path looks appealing, but even it will have pot holes, detours and curves along the way, but is it ultimately smoother then the previous road you were on? If so then shouldn't that make it worthwhile? A smooth road may never happen, but we long for it and crave it like it's water. A smooth road may be easier, but boring just the same. If our path is always easy, what shapes us as people? What makes us who we are if we aren't handed bumps along the way? The detours and forks in the road we are handed and the way we deal with it, shape us as people.

I found this written on a piece of paper while cleaning. I am not sure how long ago I wrote it. But it feels relevant to how I have been feeling lately. There are days when I feel like I am not sure which way I am going or if I am going the right way on the right path. There is always a part of me that thinks I am here for a reason, that I am on this path for a reason... then I think there is a higher power that has some sort of control. It's a vicious circle in my brain!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I started the Medifast diet back in February. To date I have lost 31 pounds. YAY!!! I have a ways to go to reach my goal and I am at a point right now where I am getting bored and feeling stuck. The weight isn't coming off as fast as it was before. Not to mention that all I am really allowed to drink is water, iced tea, and 3 cups of coffee (I only have 2). I am tired of drinking water at times. I do add Crystal Light which does make it better and I can really drink a lot of water once I do that, however, I am at a point that I don't want to drink water anymore. I want a fountain Pepsi darn it! I know in the long run this is going to be so good for me. I feel so incredibly great right now, there are no words. And that is part of the problem, I feel so good, that I am in a funk and keep thinking to myself, "I have already lost 30lbs, can't I stop now?". That is not the right frame of mind to have. I have a friend that is participating in the diet with me as well, which really helps. It's nice to have someone to share stories with and vent to about it and have them understand and empathize.

Now I have a male friend who is challenging me. He claims that he can reach 60 lbs lost before I can. There is $50 on the table. I am halfway there. He started on Sunday. Although I know that men lose weight faster then women, I am hoping that since I am halfway there, that will give me some edge and a chance to actually beat him. So know I have to start drinking A LOT more water and making every effort to get some work out time in. I have a Wii Fit Plus at home, that sadly hasn't been touched in about a month. I haven't been feeling like doing anything. I should have all this energy and sadly right now for some reason I just don't. So I have made a promise to myself, that on the nights I don't go to the gym or walk with my mom and sister, I am going to pull out the Wii Fit and get some exercise in. I need to do at least 45 mins every day! I have a dr. appt with my Endocrinologist on Thursday and that may shed some light on it. Since I have lost weight, it could be possible that I need to adjust my thyroid hormone dosage. I am hopeful that the dosage change will make a difference in the way that I have been feeling lately.

Fingers are crossed.

Monday, May 3, 2010

one day weekend

this weekend felt like one loooong day instead of two days. saturday was a pretty normal day. i stayed home and cleaned and A went to his parents' house to help dig a ditch along with his over 60 yrd old father. i swear A's mom thinks her husband is 22 years old or something with all the work that she makes him do around the house, but that is another story. after he got home i got ready to go to the relay for life overnight i was chaperoning for my 16 yrd old niece. i had never participated in the relay for life before so this was a first time experience for me. it was interesting. i'd do it again. it's kind of like camping with a large group of people and amenities like a bathroom! the part of the event that i attended was from 11pm saturday night to 7-ish am sunday morning. when i got home sunday morning i crashed. here would be a good time to mention that my house has no a/c. we live in florida... no a/c = sweat box. the a/c repair man came out on sunday and found a blockage in a coil. he has ordered a part so hopefully we will have a/c by the end of the week. so after he left, i took a nice, cool shower and then stood in front of a fan. we then went to lunch, sprint store, best buy and then returned to our own personal sauna. i decided that there was no way i was going to be cooking in the house like that. it was too hot. so we went to outback for dinner and then to target. sleeping was no picnic either. we have two fans that we had on high in the living room and decided to sleep out there. well, that was not that great. i have decided that tonight i am spending the night at my parent's house, where it will be cold. A has no problem sleeping with the fan and getting enough rest, me, i need it cold. overall in spite of the a/c deficiency i would say that my one day weekend was very nice and i quite enjoyed it. i look forward to repeats but with cold a/c in the house.