Saturday, February 27, 2010

In Law Type People

My guy and I aren’t married. We plan on it, just hasn’t happened yet. That is a story in and of itself. But that is not the point of this blog.

His parents, or rather, HIS MOTHER, I don’t use the word hate very much and I have to say that I do not hate her…..yet. I feel like it could be a possibility. I have a dislike for her and her thought process. She seems to have been born lacking 2 important features in a human and a mother… she has no filter from her brain to her mouth and she lacks the nurturing quality most mothers have. His dad, S, whom I strongly prefer, is kind of weak. He seems to barely stick up to his wife, C. But S has a sense of humor and he seems to like me and tends to see things the same way that I do. My guy is a lot like his dad. That is a very good thing.

My guy is the middle child. His oldest sister, CRA, is struggling I think to find her way. She seems to job hop and thinks she knows everything and doesn’t get along with her parents very well. Then there is the youngest, SCA. He is the golden child and could do no wrong. ARA, my guy, and CRA weren’t successful in school, but SCA was. So therefore he is the better child. ARA graduated high school a little late, but graduated none the less. CRA not so much. ARA went on to become a Firefighter/Paramedic. CRA not so much. SCA graduated high school in one shot, was good in sports, and is going to be attending a University. SCA has been out of high school for a handful of years, and enrolled at a community college, before attending the University. For a while there it appeared that he would not be able to get into the University of his choice, and he wasn’t doing well in school. At that time, and only at that time, ARA was the favorite. It was a beautiful thing. CRA in the meantime still doesn’t have a high school diploma and is job hopping. She is incredibly smart, too smart for her own good. It’s a shame that she can’t seem to get her footing in life and get on a good solid path. Once it became apparent that SCA was getting enrolled into his University, ARA was no longer the fave.

How can a parent honestly have a favorite child? That’s ridiculous. I am sure that there are different qualities that each child has that the parent’s prefer in each of their children, but to have a favorite is just wrong. I digress….his parents are both interesting specimens. I tend to compare them to my parents and they are different people. When I compare them it’s like apples and oranges at times. I feel like I have lived in a bubble. My parents have shown ARA far more warmth and acceptance and pride his parents have shown him. They are positive and try to motivate and accept him for what he is. Not everyone is meant to go to a University. It’s just nonsense to think that everyone can go to college. If that were the case, who would repair our cars, toilets, or refrigerators? We need vocational schools for people who aren’t college bound so that they too can make something of themselves. At first it seemed like ARA’s mom wasn’t too impressed with his accomplishments. Once he entered Paramedic school that changed. It was nice that they had something to talk about and something in common. And it seemed to win her over. She seemed to accept him.

I have gotten off track.

Another thing that bothers me about his family is that lack of affection. Not once in the entire time that we have been dating have either of his parents given me a hug. I had always imagined that my in laws would be like my parents, warm and inviting. Boy, was I wrong. I can only think of one time that his mother actually touched me. When S (dad) was in the hospital for a septuplet bypass…6 blocked arteries, his mom actually cried, and it was quite surprising to me. For the longest time I didn’t think that she was capable of such an emotion. Anyway right after surgery, she and I were in the ICU with S who was still intubated after surgery and he had to do a breathing test. This was scary to watch. As he was inhaling ARA’s mom grabbed my hand. She is a nurse so I am sure that she understood all too well what he was going through. It was so touching and endearing. It didn’t last very long though.

ARA’s mom is greedy. She likes to spend her money. She likes to travel and seems to constantly be changing things around the house. We live in ARA’s paternal grandparent’s house. The house is paid for. There is no mortgage on this house. Yet we are charged a hefty sum for rent. Rent has been a thorn in my side since we lived here. To summarize, I have an issue with them charging us rent and not taking care of the house. I have an issue with the amount that we are charged. We aren’t strangers. We are basically family. He is their blood. They take our money and then harp on us about saving money. It’s a vicious effing circle. This is why I can’t wait to get the HELL out of this house. I am anxious to see what happens when we get married and have children. Should be a good time. Should bring about some interesting tales. I hope they are better grandparents then they are parents.

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