Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Not Just Parents

They raise us
They teach us
The hold us when we cry

They listen
They trust
The believe us when we lie

They are protective
And want what’s best
They love unconditionally
Until the very end
And all they want
Is to be a friend

They are not just parents
They are people too
They hope
They dream
Like me and you

They have feelings
Personalities and points of view

They want things out of life
No longer for them
Mainly for you

They have sacrificed
They have struggled
To never leave you wanting

Don’t take advantage
Don’t disrespect

Let them in
Let them know you

They are the reason you are here
They are your cheerleaders
Your guardians
Your motivators

They are your creators

- 10/26/09

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Things I love <3....

- canopy roads
- fireplaces / bonfires
- black n white photography
- coffee mugs
- school supplies
- thunderstorms
- porches
- bay windows
- window seats
- gazebos
- Chinese lanterns
- cruises
- picnics
- fresh flowers
- book stores
- books
- bookcases / built-in bookcases
- trivia
- cold weather
- baby smell
- polka dots
- reading in bed
- taking baths
- fireworks
- mom's cooking
- postcards
- magnets
- real christmas trees
- the wind
- the number 13
- looking at old photos
- floral archways
- gazebos
- airports
- people watching
- marching bands (drums)
- nighttime city lights
- cloudy days
- booths
- ferry boats
- bungalows
- trees
- traditions
- messenger bags
- Gone with the Wind
......and the list goes on and on and on........

Monday, December 28, 2009

Perfection

I love this ring....the setting, the size, the metal...it's classic and simple. It's my idea of the perfect bridal set!
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2010 Resolutions

For 2010 these are some of the things that I want to focus on:

1.
Take better care of myself
I am hypothyroid. I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I haven't gained weight this year, thank god, but I haven't lost any either. I have been trying to go to the gym as much as I can, but there are always obstacles. I need to start eating better and really focus on whole foods and natural foods. I want to lose weight before I get pregnant. Not that that is going to be happening soon, but I want to have a healthier body and be at a healthier weight. It will make me a better mom. I also need to read more and spend less time watching television.
2. Be more positive
I am not sure if it's that I don't like my job or what, but I have become quite a negative person. I was never this way. I think this may also have to do with the fact that I haven't been working out as much lately. Hopefully with the start of the new year I can get into a routine and keep up the working out. I am paying for a gym membership, I might as well use it.
3. Relax
I take everything so seriously. I need to take a deep breath and realize that things aren't as bad as they seem. I also need to try and not get so excited about things that are out of my control. I apparently have some issues with control and I need to learn that I can't control everything. That there are many things that are out of my control.
4. Go back to school
I want to major in developmental psychology and perhaps some sort of counseling. I want to help children and have also considered being a child psychologist or a social worker.
5. Tattoo
A fairy or butterfly or something along those lines
6. Take more risks
I am a chicken. I am always afraid of what people are going to think or what is going to happen. I want to go on a road trip and those sort of things. Going back to school would fall in this category too. I am afraid of failure so that is part of the reason that I haven't gone back, in addition to the not being sure of what I wanted to do.
7. Be more organized at home and at work
I am a slob...so this speaks for itself. Aaron can be a bit of a slob as well so this will benefit us both.
8. Take more pictures
I need to venture outside of my house and my family and become more adventurous with my pictures. I have plenty of Zazu and Buster. I need to go to the beach, parks, Selby Gardens, museums, etc.
9. Reestablish Date night
Aaron and I haven't been able to keep up a date night due to his schooling. Now that that is over, hopefully we will be able to make our relationship a priority and get back to enjoying each other's company before things change. This is something that I would like to establish before we have children.
10. Embrace ME!!!!
I also need to focus more on embracing who I am as a person, the good and the bad and making changes if I need to. I have been learning a lot about myself this last year. I have become more aware of things about me that I was not aware of before. I am very analytical and I like to know what is going to happen before it happens. As long as I know the end result I find that I can handle the process or series of events better. I also need to start accepting when Aaron does things that make me happy or things that I ask him to do. I have a tendency to ask him for things or to do things and then second guess myself. That needs to stop. I want him to do something or go somewhere and I need to accept that he will do it for me. I am hopelessly indecisive. That needs to change as well. I need to be able to make confident decisions and not look to others for affirmation that I made the right decision. They don't have to live with it, I DO!

Friday, December 25, 2009

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

kate gosselin

who in the hell really cares about what she is doing now? i have a real distaste for fake celebrities. we as a country focus too much on celebrities as it is, and I am guilty of that as well, but i am trying to change that. however, the gosselins are not celebrities...they have no talent...sure they have 8 kids, a set of twins and sextuplets, but they haven't done anything that deserves our undivided attention as a nation have they? Yes it's a rare instance to find parents of twins and sextuplets, but do they really need to have a camera follow them around? what are we doing to their kids...they are going to think they are famous just for being born. I say in rare instances like these people, interview them every year or so to see how they are getting along. who knows if they hadn't gone on tv, they might still be married.

Monday, December 21, 2009

turn back time

Gone are the days of pigtails, hopscotch and jumping rope
Back then....
there was so much time
there was so much hope
So many dreams yet to come true
There was a lot of living yet to do

Then one day you look
And your childhood is gone
It's been wished away
Now, it is, but a memory
There is no way to turn back time
That is a clock we can not unwind

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Bonfire

Last night I went to a friend's house for a bonfire. It was really nice. I enjoyed meeting the new people and getting out of the house. This is one of the reasons that I wish I lived in the north. Bonfires are so nice, warm and inviting. You can sit around, make smores, and talk and snuggle. In Florida this rarely happens, perhaps that is a good thing, then we do not take for granted. Another thing that occurred to me as I was sitting there watching the flames crackle away, is how diverse fire is. People play with fire twirling batons, jumping through hoops, and shoot flame throwers, etc. People watch fire, i.e. fire places and fire pits, but fire is so dangerous and destructive. It can demolish and ruin homes, buildings, forrests....but yet it can also be a beautiful spectacle to watch.

Anyway, I had fun taking pictures of the fire. This is the first shot that I played with the tuning, lighting etc on. There are many more to manipulate.
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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Plans

So plans are all well and good when they come to fruition. But what happens when they don't?? What if you don't always have a backup plan or if your backup plan fails?!?! Then what?!?! There is nothing like the waiting and not knowing of what is going to happen next or what is around the corner. Planning is a good thing to an extent and then you almost have to let fate works its magic. And fate may not have planned for you what you had planned for yourself and therein lies the struggle. And when you have been going down a certain path, a planned path, when do you decide that it is no longer the path for you?

Friday, December 18, 2009

Good things....

Things are happening! Of course not everything that I want to happen is happening or at the pace that I want, but I finally feel like things are going to happen. The ball is rolling...

Aaron is done with school! Now, he needs to get a job. Sure that shouldn't be too hard right, I think not! Times couldn't be worse and his profession, firemedic, isn't something that has openings all year round. It's temperamental.

I am just ready for the next phase of our life together to start. We are living a life, but it doesn't feel like we are a family or anything like that. The idea of things coming up, marriage, kids...it's kind of surreal. I have waited for a long time to get what I have wanted for so long and to have it so close, I just can't seem to wrap my brain around it. There are still going to be a few obstacles and I can handle them, but I think the hardest part is over now. It feels like it's within reach, like I can graze our future with my finger tips.... but I just want to hold it in my hand, and have it actually be mine!



Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Meaning of Life - It's The Dash (An excerpt from the writings by Linda Ellis)

.. It matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what's true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we've never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life's actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home. ~Carol Nelson

This is so how I feel! I love Christmas and every year, I wish that I was back at my parent's house on Christmas morning. There is just a feeling I get when I am there at the holidays. It feels warm, cozy and just special. My mom decorates the house so nice and we always got a real tree and that always makes the house smell great! The lights, the colors, the smells all make Christmas so special. AND THE FOOD!!! OMG the food! She makes everything from scratch, except for the raviolis. And we have this traditional Italian wedding soup that we only eat at Christmas that i just LOVE!!!! I can't imagine what Christmas is like at other people's houses or with other people's families. Being in a relationship is definitely hard at the holidays, especially Christmas for me. I don't like to be away from my family on Christmas. I don't want to share that holiday with any other non-family members. One day though, we will all be family. Hopefully then I can have Christmas at my house. That would make me so happy and it would make things easier.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

30...UGH!!


30 balloon, originally uploaded by firefightersprincess.

I got this at my surprise party a few weeks ago. I decided to throw a party for my boyfriend who also turned 30 and my family decided to make it a double whammy. it was a great surprise and a good party. I wish it could have lasted longer though. I am having a hard time turning 30. I know age is just a number, and I really do feel younger then I am , at least mentally, but there are just things that I wanted to accomplish that I haven't and I need to get myself motivated to do them. I want to go back to school and I am ready to start a family. I just really thought that I would be in a different place then I am now. And I recognize that I am the only one that can change that, so I need to get my ass in gear!

Wonderful time of the year

Christmas is m favorite time of year! I love the cooler weather and the hustle and bustle of people shopping and the family coming together. It seems that during this time of year we are more willing to make the time to get together and spend time together more so then any other time of the year. I wonder why that is. One of the things I love about Christmas is being at my parent's house. My mom pays so much attention to detail and she loves Christmas so, it just makes the house so warm and inviting. Don't get me wrong the house is warm and inviting for the most part all year round, but during the holidays it seems warmer! I miss waking up there on Christmas morning and seeing the house all decorated and the tree lit from the night before. I miss the comfort of "home". For some reason I can't seem to make it feel like home in the house we live in now. I even tend to lose my desire to decorate, which saddens me because I love Christmas so. I love the lights, the ornaments, the traditions and the music.....especially the music. We have so many great family traditions, I hope that I am able to remember all of them and incorporate them into my family when the time comes and that we are able to add some of our own. Tradition is one of the most important things, it keeps family together and keeps those who have passed in our memory. I truly feel that this is the most wonderful time of year. The change of season revives me and makes me feel alive inside and makes me want to do more of just anything. I wish that this lasted all year long.


Friday, December 4, 2009

This is snuggle weather!! I <3 it!!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

His Hands














With his hands
He will lead me home

With his hands
He will give me life

With his hands
He will provide for me

With his hands
He will embrace me

With his hands
He will caress me

With his hands
I will know no fear

With his hands
He will keep me safe

My future lies
Within his hands.







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Friday, September 18, 2009

A Child's Eyes

The world seen through a child’s eyes
Is how the world should be seen
They do not care what others think
They know no fear
They run
….play
….climb
….chase
….imagine
….create

The world seen through a child’s eyes
Is hot it should be seen
They see the good before the bad

They tumble
They fall
….and bounce back again

They have purity
….innocence
….honesty
….truth

Their laughter is infectious
The cries are heart wrenching
Their minds are curious
Their touch is tender

They are ignorant to the dark side
And specialize in make believe

The world through a child’s eyes
Is the world I’d like to see.
- 9/17/09

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Indifferent

hollow......
empty.....
cold......

My heart once felt rapture
It once beat for you
It seems there is a disconnect
From the love we share
It's as if my hears been robbed
I feel detached
Angered by your presence
Resistant to your touch
I am indifferent

Do I hate you?
Do I love you still?
-9/11/09

A Life Unknown

I think of the life we've built
The love we've shared
And wonder....
Why you can't let go of your fear
We've got each other
What more do we need
I know your intentions are good
I know your heart is true
I can not seem to comprehend your hesitation
Toward pushing through
We are at a stalemate
With fewer steps to take
To make us whole

One question
One answer
And one we will become
Together we will face
Whatever comes our way
A life unscripted
A life unknown
-9/11/09

Bigger Picture

A life I do not yet know
A future held at bay
What will it bring?
What will it hold?
I wish I could glance upon it
To see how it unfolds
I wish I could see beyond the present
And get the bigger picture.
-9/13/09

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

In my dreams

A piece of me is missing
A piece I do not know
It's waiting for me out there
Surrounded by a glow
It's waiting in a limbo
Arrival still unknown
Leaving my soul lost and hollow

I see a figure in my dreams
Almost within my reach
Dancing closely to my grasp
But disappears in a flash

I'm anxious to feel complete again
To be entirely whole
Anxious to meet the angel in my dreams
Who has possession of my soul.
-7/11/09
-Alicia

But a Child

It seems my life has not begun
In this world of adults
I feel as though I don't belong
For I am but a child
I go through life half awake
Half in a dream
I feel like a spectator to my life
Merely existing
Not really living
Monotony my true companion
Days come, days go
I get bored in my own skin
And I long to break free
I long to runaway

I've reached a plateau
I need to move forward
There is a fear holding me back
Paralyzing me from moving forward
From growing up
-8/25/09
Alicia Puzzanchera

Friday, March 20, 2009

Life - Phase: Marrige/Parenting

My best friend is getting married. My best friend is having a baby. While I am so incredibly happy for her, and I am, I can't help but feel very envious of her. And selfishly, I thought I would be first. I can't help but be jealous. And it makes me wonder what it would take to get Aaron to take the next step. The fact that she is taking the next step in life and I am still on the bench makes me yearn to get married and/or have a baby or something to jump start my life. People around me are procreating and wedding - when will it be me? And then the next question I have is, "Am I ready?" I am pretty sure I can handle the wife thing, since Aaron and I have lived together for several years - the parent thing I am not so sure of, and it scares me. Scared to death actually. I was raised well. I have a great relationship with my parents and I can't wait to have a child and share a bond like that. I can't imagine what that's like. It has to be an incredible feeling.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

ARGH

I do not love my job. I feel like there is some sort of conspiracy against me. I want out of my skin when I am here most of the time.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

That feels a little better.

Saturday, January 31, 2009

trusted love

I see your face
I see your smile
My heart begins to tingle
Bringing a smile to my face
My stomach starts to flutter
I look at you
I feel warm all over
I feel safe
I feel secure
I know your heart is true
Your intentions pure
I know your love
I trust your heart
- A. Puzzanchera
- 1/31/09

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Return to Neverland

Youth is such a precious thing
It comes and goes with the greatest of ease
In the blink of an eye
It will be over
It will be lost
There’s no way to recapture it
There’s no way to go back
Life moves forward
Life, quickly, goes on

So quick we are to wish youth away
Not indulging in youthful simplicities
Rushing to partake in adult opportunities
Innocence becomes forever lost
We mature
We grow
But at what cost
We should embrace our youth
While within our grasp
Before it slips from our delicate hand
There’s no return to neverland
- Alicia Puzzanchera
5/29/08

Friday, January 23, 2009

Family

Families are a truly amazing thing and a great gift.

However, in taking a step back I find myself asking questions like: who knows you better? Your family or your friends? It is true that your family may always be there to catch you when you fall. They are, for most, a safety net. But at what point though do your friends become more like your family? Why is it that there are things that we are ashamed to tell our families but we divulge to our friends with less hesitation.
Life takes us all on our own individual journeys which leads us to our friends, spouses, significant others, etc. and in the end to the people that we become. You get married, legally bound, have children and raise them to the best of your ability and then your children go out and become who they are meant to be and the cycle continues.

How much time as adults do we spend with our family, our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, grandmother, etc.? Truth be told not much. Kids' go to school 8 hours a day and most parents have to go to work. People move away and mini-friend families are formed. There are functions, extra curriculars and career choices that take our loved ones away. We go off to pursue our dreams and "find ourselves" and leave our families behind, the people who have known and loved us the longest.

I have a large age gap between my youngest older brother and me, 8 years. While that may not seem like much, to me it seems like a lifetime. I do not recall him or my oldest older brother (11 years difference) ever torturing me or tormenting me in a way that would lead me to dislike them now as an adult. Yet there are people in my life that think so poorly of their family members who treated them a certain way when they were children. We are adults now people, time to act like one. Just because a person behaves one way as a child, doesn't necessarily mean they are that way as an adult. How does the family bond break, yet remain in tact? How can siblings who were raised in the same house come to have such a distate for one another? I do not understand that.

Having said that when I look at some of the families of my friends, I feel like my family lived in a bubble. Granted we had our problems, but we all love each other. But I do feel that my friends are the people that perhaps may know me best. And that leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Shouldn't your family know you as well as your friends do, or perhaps better? How do we manage to get so separated, yet remain so close?? Argh...One of the mysteries that is life.